if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My pussy is not your playground.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
