3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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