so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
