Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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