So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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