That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
