do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
