i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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