she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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