We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
