I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I forget how to act sober
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
