I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
