like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
