You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
