We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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