at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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