I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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