you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
