Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
