Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
