We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
