Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
