Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you traded sex for a burrito?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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