I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
