your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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