you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
