You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
