rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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