I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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