Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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