Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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