I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
