You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
