honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
