He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He has the fingertips of a God
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