im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
