he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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