Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
