kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
