I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
