i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize