i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
