Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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