Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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