I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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