Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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