Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
