Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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