You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
