Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
