i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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