he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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