Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
