it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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